You’re stranded on an island, surrounded by a plentiful supply of your favourite superfood, the coconut. The key to your survival lies in this question: do you actually know how to get into one? If the answer is no, keep reading.
Retrieve. If you think you’re limber enough, go on and try to climb the tree. Personally I find tools like a mini chainsaw on the end of a telescopic pole to be very helpful, but since you’re marooned on an island and aren’t fit enough to climb the tree, you might want to try and find a reeeallly long stick/tree and poke at it until it falls down. Watch your head!
De-Husk. Find something stable, strong, and pointy. You can use a sharpened stick planted into the ground, the pointy bits of an iron fence, or maybe some razor sharp coral! Pierce the top half of the coconut where the husk is thickest and softest. Repeat. Repeat. Remove the entire husk.
Assess. Did you score a mature brown nut or a young whitish one? Shake the coconut. You should hear the water inside swishing. If there’s no sound and it’s a mature nut, throw it away. It’s rotten. A rotten coconut also means that you got lazy and picked a coconut off the ground. Now get your ass up that tree! No swishing sound in a young coconut means it’s full of water, and the coconut is fine.
Drink. After all of that hard work, you have now discovered that your coconut is made of steel. Don’t get discouraged! Despite appearances, this is the easy bit. Trying to “cut it” is a losing battle, so what you need to do is find the “face” of your coconut. You should see two “eyes” and a “mouth.” Use the end of a sharp pointy knife to remove the fleshy membrane from the mouth. You brought your Swiss Army knife, right? In 10 seconds, you’re in! Insert straw or in your case…suck.
Eat. Find the “sweet spot” on the top, above the “eyes.” Using the back of a heavy cleaver (or rock), give it a firm whack. Voila! Your coconut is open. The flesh of a young coconut is jelly-like and can be easily scooped out with a spoon. Removing the flesh from a mature coconut requires some effort. Good luck with that. Try not to lose a finger or your mind.
Stay tuned for my next post: How To Build A Raft 🙂