10 Reasons Most People Think You’re An Ass

Posted by on Mar 28, 2014 in Article | 3 Comments
10 Reasons Most People Think You’re An Ass
So you think you’re a good person, right? A decent member of this society? You don’t commit crimes, you wave to your neighbour, provide for your family, volunteer, and you may even recycle most of the time. Well you sound pretty tops to me, but let me point something out to you. I want to show you how privileged, greedy, wasteful, and criminal you might appear to most members of this planet. Eighty percent of the world’s population lives off of less than $10 per day. About 50 percent live on less than $1.25 per day and roughly 1 billion do not have access to safe drinking water. Here I have highlighted a few things that, relatively speaking, make us look like a bunch of privileged brats.
1) You Rub Edible Oils On Your Body. What? Why? Oils like coconut and olive oil are readily available to most of us. Mostly we use them for cooking, but we also use them as beauty products. Imagine how wasteful and vain we’d appear to someone struggling to feed themselves? What it says about us? We have so much that we are literally rolling in it. What Can I Do? Honestly, I think we just need to appreciate how fortunate we are.                                                   
2) You Flush The Toilet. Well of course you do!  And so do I, but…did you ever think about the fact that we flush our toilets with water that is of “drinking quality.” Yep. Another waste when you consider one billion people in the world do not have access to safe drinking water. A lack of access to clean water and sanitation kills children at a rate equivalent to that of a jumbo jet crashing every four hours (see water.org).
What Can I Do? You can flush your toilet using grey water or replace some of the volume in your toilet tank with filled plastic bottles of water. Two 1-litre bottles of water in the toilet tank would save you 2 litres every time you flushed. And my favourite: If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down. Go to savewater.com.au for more water-saving tips in your home. If you want to find a simple way to help a child gain access to safer drinking water, learn more about LifeStraw here.
3) We Feed Grain To Livestock. First of all, cows are meant to eat grass. Secondly, the food we grow for the cows and pigs that we want to overeat…ahem…I mean eat, could be used to feed…wait for it…HUMAN BEINGS that don’t have food! Good news for cows is that they will never go hungry, and they have access to better health care and accommodation than most people in the world.
What Can I Do? Just stop eating meat. Please. If this is really not an option at this point in time for you, and it’s really inconvenient because you like sausages and bacon like I do, just stop eating meat. Get it? Stop eating meat. Vegetarians are apparently pretty hot, and apparently vegans are irresistible. If you want proof, look at this naked vegan model covered in hot chillies. Did you look? Maybe you’re not ready yet, but if you want to make some changes in your home to reduce the consumption of animal products, here are some great resources to get you started: PETA has a free vegan and vegetarian starter kit for those of you considering making some changes. Go here and here and here and here 🙂 And if you really don’t want to be a vegetarian, eat less meat, choose ethically-farmed, grass-fed sources, and practice eating nose-to-tail (don’t waste).
4) You Fuel Your Car With Edible Crops. Biofuel. So not only do we waste our food by throwing it in the bin, but we are also pissing away potential meals in our giant cars. I think we deserve a big middle finger for that one.
What Can I Do? Go ride a bike. Take public transport. Walk.
5) You Throw Away Food. Waste food? You greedy bitches have so much money and so much food that you can just throw it away?? At least rub it on your body along with your patchouli-scented coconut oil, you bastards. Australians throw away nearly $8 billion in food each year.
What Can I Do? Plan ahead and only buy food that you intend to use over the next couple of days, not enough to fill your pantry and fridge so that it resembles your local grocery store. Buy a small fridge. A friend of mine is one of 5 boys, and his mum had a garden in the back and a tiny bar fridge. See? You don’t need as much space as you think. Bring a container with you to restaurants to take home whatever you can’t finish.
6) You Eat Too Much. Yes. Over-eating is another form of waste. In a world of abundance, it’s tough to say no.
What Can I Do? Eat to live, don’t live to eat. Eat healthily and take good care of yourself. Yes, you can take advantage of our wealthy surroundings and indulge now and then, but not everyday.
7) You Diet And Go To The Gym.
So you eat so much that now you actually have to pay even more money to expend your extra calories on a treadmill? Living in a society where everyone seems to be on a diet is just another reminder that we have access to too much food. Over 3 billion people live on less than $1.25 per day. Could you? If you did, I bet you wouldn’t need to diet. Anyone feel like a giant ass yet?
What Can I Do? Eat in moderation because it is a very ethical choice to look after your health. Go to the gym because it’s good for you, not because you want to maintain a lifestyle of over-indulgence or look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. There’s no need to look like Arnold. Lose the over-sized biceps, they made you look a bit weird anyway. I also recommend walking a dog, anybody’s dog, and just spending more time outdoors. If you need a dog to walk without commitment, go to your local pet shelter. They are always looking for a volunteer dog walker.
8) Grocery Stores. Imagine what a grocery store looks like to someone who has very limited access to food. The variety and abundance is excessive. I know what they’re thinking: HOARDERS! Can you please share some of the wealth? Large grocery stores, like Woolworths and Coles, give us the impression that food is bountiful and that there is an infinite supply of it, but the truth is that this planet is nearly at capacity.
What Can I Do? Next time you think “grocery store,” think “department store with some food in it.” They have more stuff than food. If you buy your food from local markets and farmers, you’ll see how much money you can save and how much less food you waste. By purchasing locally, you are also reducing the mileage of your food from farm to table as well as helping a farmer. Try on the Frugavore challenge here. This book by Arabella Forge is an excellent resource for frugal living. Go to her website to learn more.
9) Dropping Out Of School. Sixty-One million primary school-age children are unable to attend school because of poverty, poor health and conflict. They would like to be there because education equals opportunity. The children on the left risk their lives everyday to get to school. What’s our excuse? Read more about these amazing kids here.
What Can I Do? Get your ass to school and work hard because wasting the opportunity to learn makes you a dumbass. Don’t be a dumbass. Although access to education should be a right for everyone, unfortunately, in many parts of the world, it is still a privilege. Now go sponsor a child so they can go to school and drink clean water. It’ll cost you less than your coffee habit.
10) Fussy Eaters. Ummm…I had maize meal, milk and some water for dinner. I’ll probably eat the same thing again tomorrow and everyday for the rest of my life. Now stop complaining and eat your broccoli!
What Can I Do? When we are hiding spinach in chocolate brownies and making sandwiches in the shape of rocket ships, just so our kids might eat it, we have a problem. It means they know they are surrounded by a bottomless pit of options. Apply the “shut-up-and-eat-it” principle in your home. Don’t force feed, and when you cook, do try to accommodate your family the best you can. You can let your family know that there is only one option, so if they choose not to eat what’s in front of them, there isn’t an option B. In our home, they can skip the meal (without getting shouted at) and opt for a piece of fruit and water. Since downsizing to a minimalist kitchen, my 3 year old son has become significantly less fussy and has stopped asking for snacks (because I don’t actually have any) except for fruit. It has saved us a lot of grief, and a lot of money. We’ve cut our grocery bill in half. It is said that “variety is the spice of life”…but keep meals simple. There is no need to be Jamie frickin’ Oliver every night. You’ll waste less and spend less if you just have a small handful of dishes you know how to prepare. It will save you the headache and some money. Soups and stews are great because they’re healthy, great for feeding larger families, and easy to store. Indulge your audience with some fresh crusty bread 🙂
And Remember: What we take in excess today, we steal from our children tomorrow. Increasing pressure on our environment for food and clean water is NOT sustainable. There is a limit to how much we can ask of this planet. And no, science will not save us.
Have a Nice Day!


  1. MrsM
    March 28, 2014

    Brilliant! I just want to screen shot every paragraph!

  2. Hosting
    May 23, 2016

    Also the ancient Shemitic people did not consume meat, fish or fowl everyday. And, they were an agricultural people who lived off the land, raised and grew their own food where most of us today do not have the means to do this. Sorry for the longwinded response. Hope it will help someone.


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